devarim

Today I came across the following part of the Massachusetts Code:

General Laws of Massachusetts
. .PART I Administration of the Gorvernment
. . .TITLE I. Jurisdiction and Emblems of the Commonwealth, The General Court, Statutes, and Public Documents
. . . .CHAPTER 2. Arms, Great Seal, and Other Emblems of the Commonwealth

Some of the sections are hilarious, taken individually or together with others...

[Be careful in your gardening endeavors...]

§ 7. Flower or floral emblem of commonwealth; protection; penalty.

Section 7. The mayflower (epigaea repens) shall be the flower or floral emblem of the commonwealth. Any person who pulls up or digs up the plant of the mayflower or any part thereof, or injures such plant or any part thereof except in so far as is reasonably necessary in procuring the flower therefrom, within the limits of any state highway or any other public way or place, or upon the land of another person without written authority from him, shall be punished by a fine of not more than fifty dollars; but if a person does any of the aforesaid acts while in disguise or secretly in the nighttime he shall be punished by a fine of not more than one hundred dollars. The provisions of this section shall be enforced by all officers in the division of law enforcement in the department of fisheries, wildlife and environmental law enforcement.

* * *

§ 9. Bird or bird emblem of commonwealth.

Section 9. The chicadee (Penthestes atricapillus) shall be the bird or bird emblem of the commonwealth.

[Surprisingly enough, it's not Sam Adams.]

§ 10. Beverage of commonwealth.

Section 10. Cranberry juice shall be the beverage of the commonwealth.

* * *

§ 12. Insect or insect emblem of commonwealth.

Section 12. The lady bug shall be the insect or insect emblem of the commonwealth.

* * *

§ 15. Gem or gem emblem of commonwealth.

Section 15. Rhodonite shall be the gem or gem emblem of the commonwealth.

§ 16. Marine mammal or marine mammal emblem of commonwealth.

Section 16. The right whale (Eubalaena Glacialis) shall be the marine mammal or marine mammal emblem of the commonwealth.

§ 17. Fossil or fossil emblem of commonwealth.

Section 17. The dinosaur track shall be the fossil or fossil emblem of the commonwealth.

§ 18. Mineral or mineral emblem of commonwealth.

Section 18. Babingtonite shall be the mineral or mineral emblem of the commonwealth.

* * *

[Allow me to present the rocks of the Commonwealth, not to be confused with the official gem or the official mineral thereof...]

§ 22. Rock or rock emblem of commonwealth.

Section 22. The Roxbury Puddingstone (Roxbury Conglomerate), shall be the rock or rock emblem of the commonwealth.

§ 23. Historical rock of commonwealth.

Section 23. Plymouth Rock, located in the town of Plymouth, shall be the historical rock of the commonwealth.

§ 24. Explorer rock of commonwealth.

Section 24. Dighton Rock shall be the explorer rock of the commonwealth.

§ 25. Building and monument stone of commonwealth.

Section 25. Granite shall be the building and monument stone of the commonwealth.

* * *

§ 28. Muffin of commonwealth.

Section 28. The corn muffin shall be the official muffin of the commonwealth.

* * *

§ 33. Soil of commonwealth.

Section 33. The Paxton Soil Series shall be the official soil of the commonwealth.

* * *

[Hey, as Lindsay said, "It's better than Massachusettsinsians."]

§ 35. Designation of citizens of commonwealth.

Section 35. Bay Staters shall be the official designation of citizens of the commonwealth.

§ 36. Game bird of commonwealth.

Section 36. The wild turkey (Meleagris Gallopavo) shall be the game bird and game bird emblem of the commonwealth.

* * *

[Too bad our official beverage isn't milk.]

§ 42. Cookie of commonwealth.

Section 42. The chocolate chip cookie shall be the official cookie of the commonwealth.

* * *

§ 49. Children's book of commonwealth

Section 49. The book "Make Way For Ducklings" by Robert McCloskey shall be the official children's book of the commonwealth.

[But...]

§ 50. Children's author and children's illustrator of commonwealth

Section 50. The author Theodor Geisel, better known as Dr. Seuss, shall be the official children's author and children's illustrator of the commonwealth.

-=- FOR THE MUSICALLY INCLINED -=-

[Yes, there are eight sections here...]

§ 19. Song of commonwealth.

Section 19. The song "All Hail to Massachusetts", words and music by Arthur J. Marsh, shall be the song of the commonwealth.

§ 20. Folk song of commonwealth.

Section 20. The song "Massachusetts", words and music by Arlo Guthrie, shall be the folk song of the commonwealth.

§ 27. Ceremonial march of commonwealth.

Section 27. The song "The Road to Boston", composer unknown, shall be the official ceremonial march of the commonwealth.

§ 31. Patriotic song of commonwealth.

Section 31. The song "Massachusetts (Because of You Our Land Is Free)", words and music by Bernard Davidson, shall be the patriotic song of the commonwealth.

§ 32. Folk dance of commonwealth.

Section 32. Square Dancing shall be the official folk dance of the commonwealth.

§ 43. Glee club song of commonwealth.

Section 43. The song "The Great State of Massachusetts", words by George A. Wells, and music by J. Earl Bley, shall be the glee club song of the commonwealth.

§ 44. Polka of commonwealth.

Section 44. The words and music of "Say Hello to Someone in Massachusetts" by Lenny Gomulka shall be the official polka of the commonwealth.

§ 47. Ode of the commonwealth.

Section 47. The words and music of "Ode to Massachusetts" by Joseph Falzone shall be the official ode of the commonwealth.