devarim

It seems I have a problem with dates. At first I thought it was just birthdays. I would remember a friend's birthday for about a month leading up to it...since most of my friends are not card people, and since I (as a general rule) don't do birthday gifts, this means that for thirty days or so, at least five times a day, I'll think to myself, "I have to remember to call so-and-so on whatever-date." I do that every day...except on the actually birthday. It will completely slip my mind, and then three days after the fact something will remind me of it and I'll mentally waver between calling the friend belatedly to apologize and just letting it go and hoping s/he doesn't notice. Usually I decide that the former is the proper course of action, but it takes me so long to decide (say, two weeks) that it's no longer relevant.

Anyway, I was really proud of myself when I remembered Heather's birthday on her actual birthday last week. What's more, I called her on said birthday and actually had a conversation of three minutes or so. Wonderful.

Then, on Shabbat morning, I realized that my grandpa's first yahrzeit must be coming up. I did some frantic mental calculations (mostly when I should have been doing other things, like davening) and determined that his yahrzeit is on 19 Kislev, which this year is the evening of December 1 and the daytime of December 2. Great, I remembered early enough to get us to go back to shul for mincha (something we are quite lax about in the winter) and have an El Molei said in his memory. The fact of the yahrzeit hung around in the back of my mind on Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday.

Today, I forgot all about it. That wouldn't be such a big deal, because Grandpa's yahrzeit started at night. I wasn't planning to go to shul to say Kaddish anyway--I could never make it for mincha and maariv today because of work, and I have enough trouble waking up in the morning with enough time to say birchot hashachar and still put on my makeup. No, I just needed to remember to light a yahrzeit candle. Which I forgot about until five minutes ago. When we discovered that we don't have any at home.

To his credit, I will say that Julian offered to run right out and buy one, but being the overly practical person that I am (seriously, I know none of you believe me, but when it comes to emotions battling with reason, I tend to overcompensate on the side of reason), I told him to stay home and finish cleaning the oven.