devarim

Through a sort of convoluted path, I came across this blog today. The blogger, who is relatively local, used to be frum and now...isn't. I did a little poking around and haven't found the "why" yet. I'm curious, but I'm also for some strange reason too mentally exhausted to continue the search.

Anyway, it has me wondering why I'm even thinking about it in the first place. After all, it (generally) doesn't bother me that different Jews have different religious philosophies and different levels of observance (in either "direction," as it were). However, there's always this little twinge in my heart when I hear about someone who used to be somewhere near my place on things who has moved away. I start wondering what's so evil about it...am I blind to some horrid aspect of my religious observance that they've found out? Were they blind to some wonderful, subconscious thing that I have always known about? Did the rigidity of the rules overshadow the beauty of the religion? How can I possibly raise my children to stay on this path? Alternatively, how can I possibly limit them when there are so many things in the world that I prohibit to myself? After all, Julian and I have made the carefully considered choice to follow this path (although we came to it in somewhat different ways); can we really expect to deprive our children of that choice? On the other hand, would we have made these choices if we didn't think they were the best for us and, by extension, for our future family.

I feel like Tevye. Dear God, I don't want to be like Tevye. On the other hand, he did have five daughters...